Author: Joanne Soviner

Do you remember the last time you openly talked about your faith or shared the Word of God with a friend? 

Unfortunately, the consistent fear of ridicule and rejection, alongside secularist society’s ‘taboo’ of talking about anything regarding religion, wipes out many Christian teens’ desire to evangelise to the non-believers around them. 

But even as teenagers we are all called by God to evangelise (Matthew 28:19).

What Is Evangelism? 

Firstly, we need to understand that evangelism is not us trying to ‘save’ unbelievers, or to convert them so they may escape the terrifying end in darkness and hell. Rather, evangelising is the sharing of the good news of Jesus Christ to unbelievers. We’re sharing the goodness we have experienced for ourselves as believers, and bringing about His kingdom on this earth. 

Something we should remember about evangelism is that it’s done as part of a church. As the body of Christ, all of us have unique callings when serving God. This is seen in church ministry, where different people are used in different ministries. These can range from music to technology based on their talents. We often forget this image as the body of Christ when it comes to evangelising. All of us are called to evangelise, but not all in the same ways. Evangelism shouldn’t just be exclusive to the preachers or cell group leaders that teach us the Word of God weekly; everyone has their part to play, just as every part of the body has a different function. 

Evangelising Through Mission 

I give thanks that our church, IREC Sydney, is able to partake in mission. Currently around 41 members (fellow teens included!) are in Biak, evangelising to remote Indonesian villages and holding events such as regional gospel rallies to preach to children and adults alike. Evangelism through mission is a big calling for the church, and we continuously pray for the team and those being preached to, that His Word may reach the unreached. 

If you are called to the mission field, its important to understand that mission is a special calling. It is part of the Great Commission (Matthew 28:19) and even from the earliest period of the churches in the New Testament, mission was an important ministry adopted by all the disciples and most importantly, Jesus himself! 

However, it is also important to note that not everyone is called to the mission field. As many of us have looked upon our own church’s mission, or are accustomed to hearing stories of great missionaries like Hudson Taylor who served for 54 years in China, or Jim Elliot who gave his life for the gospel in Ecaudor, we subconsciously misunderstand that mission is the only way for us to ‘successfully’ evangelise. 

So How Do We Start Evangelising? 

1. Start in our friendship circle

We can start evangelising little by little to the friends closest to us. This can involve simple things like bringing up religion in a conversation during lunch, and sharing our faith and beliefs. We could ask our friends how they are doing from time to time, or ask them how we can pray for them. Maybe we could even try inviting them to our church’s Sunday service, or to a youth event (hint hint Regeneration-Z’s next event!). 

Jokes aside, we can evangelise to our friends and share the gospel with them in our everyday conversation and interactions. Personally, my friends and I have started a ‘Sisters in Christ’ WhatsApp group chat recently, where we send each other encouraging messages, bible verses, or memory verses from our school scripture class. 

Though such opportunities for sharing the Word may be rare, we should always try to be intentional when evangelising through our conversations, and pray that God may give us the strength and courage to speak out when the chance comes. We should keep praying for those same friends afterwards too, that God may soften their hearts and they may receive the Word that we have shared. 

2. Live as a testament

We can also evangelise to others by living as a testament, allowing others to see Jesus through our life and actions as much as our words. Many of our friends may be hard atheists or strong believers of a different religion, and it may seem forceful and hostile as we try to share the Word of God with them. However, we should not fight hostility with hostility, or try to impose our opinion and beliefs on them. Rather, through grace, humility and sacrificial love, we can reveal the goodness of God through our life. 

We don’t have to stand in front of hundreds preaching the Word of God, powerfully proclaiming the words ‘Repent, repent!’. Instead, our character and person is as loud a preaching as what comes out of our mouths. After we have experienced Jesus and His ultimate love and sacrifice for us, our character will be changed, and the spiritual fruits we bear will reveal to the world that we are His. (John 13:35) 

Start Sowing 

Wherever we are in our life contexts, God has called us to evangelise to others. It is definitely easier said than done, and we will get scared. We can only pray and trust that God will give us the right words to say, and work through us to proclaim His glory to the unbelievers. We have no control over the outcome of our evangelism; whether the person will turn to accept Christ or not is only according to God’s will. 

But we can start by sowing the first gospel seed. Little by little, as more sowers sow the seeds of the gospel into the life of an unbeliever, by God’s grace, they may one day reap a glorious harvest. 

“Just another 15 minutes…Once I finish this video, I’ll start my assignment,” you say casually. 

As planned, the video concludes 15 minutes later. You are just about to switch tabs to start your assignment…but wait! Your eyes subconsciously glance at the side bar of recommended videos, and the next video catches your attention. Conscience and Will start playing a game of tug of war as you manouever your mouse, hovering it over the next video. 

‘Uh oh. Not this again! You said you were going to stop after one video!’ Conscience cries out, warning you of the dangers of your next actions. 

But it’s no use. ‘Experienced’ in this sinful habit, you simply shut out the warnings, and Will emerges as the victor once again. After all, just one more video wouldn’t hurt, right? 

Our Generation’s Infamous Struggle 

I’m sure we all know how that story ends: the original 15 minute video unknowingly turns into hours of wasted time, trapped in the neverending loop of Youtube’s recommendations. Once we realise our mistake, it’s the end of the day, and all we are left with is an unfinished assignment and the regret that we have once again fallen into this sinful habit. 

Procrastination. It’s our generation’s infamous struggle. 

We see it everywhere – in ourselves and in all our friends around us. As we live in a world increasing with technology and social media galore, the temptation to procrastinate only gets worse. It almost seems as if there’s an invisible force that keeps us itching to constantly check our phones for the latest notifications, or scroll through Instagram to see what our friends are up to. We can’t seem to stop, and it’s frustrating – why does our heart long to indulge in every worldly pleasure out there, instead of doing the tasks we actually need to do? 

Now, Not Later 

Procrastination isn’t a simple matter to be taken lightly. Whether we admit it or not, this sinful habit and nature has penetrated every one of us. And as we continue to procrastinate and delay the many duties we have in our lives, this dangerous habit grows and affects every aspect of our lives – even our relationship with God. 

As teens, we think that we still have so much of life ahead of us. The message often broadcasted through media is, ‘Oh it’s okay, you’re still young. Enjoy life while you can, do what you want, YOLO!’ But we fail to realise that as we’ve been squandering our lives away, misusing the precious time God has given us to indulge in worldly ways, time has continued moving. Only when we start seeing siblings, friends and others around us leave their teen years and enter adulthood, it suddenly hits us that we don’t actually have that much time left. 

“Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12 

Living for Christ starts now. Sharing God’s truth starts now. Seeking to know God starts now. 

Not later. 

Let us not procrastinate on our spiritual lives, or live a wasted life that leaves God only for ‘someday’. While we are still young, and have the time, energy and opportunity to serve God, let’s use our time wisely to obey His calling for us. 

Battle on Bended Knees 

No matter how many times we’ve written ‘Overcome procrastination’ as one of our New Years’ Resolutions, it never really seems to happen. Even if we are willing in spirit, our flesh is too weak to fight the temptation of being lazy, selfish and procrastinating on the things we need to do. 

Procrastination is a spiritual battle – a fight against worldly temptations, against our sinful will. It is a long and hard battle that tests our self-control, obedience to God and our ability to live in holiness. 

But may we look upon our perfect God as an example, and fight this battle on our knees with pleading, prayer and reliance towards Him. Together, let our hearts be shaped to stop the sinful habits of procrastination and seek to please and glorify Him. 

As teens, most of us wouldn’t say we’ve experienced much suffering or affliction. The average teen isn’t struggling financially, dealing with a stressful job (or kids), or having difficulties maintaining their health. Of course, we get stressed sometimes with the busyness of schoolwork or assignments, but for the most part, teens live life as it comes – one day at a time. 

But our generation faces a major problem. Loneliness. 

Now you’re probably wondering: We’re Gen-Z, the most technologically-advanced generation of all time, with easy access to a social life online and off, so how could we possibly feel lonely? 

But loneliness is quite different to being alone. Even people who, on the outside, always seem happy and are surrounded by many friends – they may still feel desperately lonely and empty on the inside. 

For us, loneliness isn’t the lack of friends; it’s the lack of acceptance. And especially as Christian teens, society is quick to reject us when we are not ashamed of our faith, when we no longer love the world but walk in holiness, or simply for reasons relating to our appearance or personality. 

So how are we supposed to face this problem without falling down the slippery slope of self-deprecation or pity? 

A Source of Comfort and Strength  

“Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” (Matthew 6:26)  

Knowing and trusting in God and His providence is our source of comfort and strength when we feel most alone and anxious. In His providence, God graces us with every good and spiritual gift, including the special grace that we may have a ‘new’ life in Christ. Now, the Holy Spirit dwells in us (Romans 8:10-11), and enables us to have a restored relationship with Him. 

In this ‘new’ life, we are set apart from the world – to be holy, and to be used by God. It is no surprise that we are alienated from the world. 

But even then God remains our truest friend, whom we can turn to in prayer. He is our refuge (Psalm 62:8), strength and comfort. Trusting in God’s providence towards us, His children, gives us strength in knowing everything He does is for our good (Romans 8:28). We can also trust that he cares for us and accepts us no matter what the world thinks of us. 

As God looks after his creations like the birds of the air, how much more will He look over us; His greatest creation whom He made in His own image? Take comfort and strength in His providence, knowing that He is with us and sustains us always. 

Patience and Trust in His Timing 

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11a) 

God’s providence is under His sovereign control, and everything He gives to us is made beautiful according to His will and timing. Understanding that God’s ways are very different to our ways helps us to be patient, even through times of loneliness. 

Everything we receive through His providence, whether the good or the bad, is used to shape us in becoming more spiritually mature and preparing us to bear good fruits. Hence, His continued providence reminds us it is worth waiting and continuing to trust Him. Even if we do not receive happiness right now, at the end of the race there is a greater reward for us in heaven. (Hebrews 12:1-2) 

Encouragement for Times of Loneliness 

For those who may be facing times of loneliness right now, I encourage you to persist in patience, knowing that all your circumstances stem from God’s good and perfect providence. His marvellous plan lies past this tough time, so keep trusting in His providence, with prayer and petition to Jesus, the truest friend – and He will guide you and deliver you. 

“And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28) 

Do you often find yourself complaining about the many little unpleasant things that happen in your daily life? From waking up late and missing the train to school to your annoying friends or siblings; about the heavy workload and assignments given by your teachers, or about the high-speed internet connection that was just not fast enough to your liking.

We are all too familiar with these ungrateful comments that consciously (or unconsciously) come out of our mouths daily. Whenever something doesn’t go our way, we easily get annoyed, and our first impulse is to complain. 

“An ungrateful teenager” is a stereotype often attached to us, which unfortunately holds some truth.

We might think it’s okay (and normal) to spurt out our vexation whenever we feel like it; however, the Bible teaches us not to take this sin lightly. We may not realise it, but complaining is no less deadly a sin as idolatry.  

The deadly cost of complaining 

Most of us would be familiar with the story of the Israelites being delivered from slavery in Egypt. During their journey towards Canaan, the Promised Land, the Israelites started to complain towards God. 

God had given them plentiful manna to eat, yet they had other cravings, grumbling at the entrance of their tents for God to give them meat. 

“If only we had meat to eat! We remember the fish we ate in Egypt at no cost – also the cucumbers, melons, leeks, onions and garlic. But now we have lost our appetite; we never see anything but this manna!” (Numbers 11:4a-6) 

Soon, God granted them meat, yet the Israelites continued to grumble over their hardships. 

When some of the men, sent to explore the land of Canaan and observe its people, returned to the camp with bad news, the Israelites grumbled once again. Upon hearing

how big, strong, and powerful the Canaanites were, and how the Israelites would not stand a chance if they were to attack them, they wished they had stayed in Egypt, where they seemingly had a better life with safety and comfort. 

“If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this wilderness! Why is the Lord bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?” (Numbers 14:2-4)

They even rebelled against Moses and Aaron, wanting to stone them, then choose a new leader and go back to Egypt. 

All their grumblings made God furious. He had already provided the Israelites with so many blessings, yet they were still ungrateful and complained a lot. Because of this, they were kept from entering the Promised Land, and as a result, destined to roam in the wilderness for forty years instead. (Numbers 14:26-35) 

Fast forward more than 3000 years later, and we still have the same disease of complaining that is no different from the Israelites’. We have been blessed abundantly, yet we keep complaining over the little things in life. We should learn from the Israelites’ mistakes and realise that complaining is the initial step away from God that will cause a multitude of destructive sins to follow. 

Just take a moment to think about some recurring sins we do. Maybe it is being envious of others, frequent fights with our siblings, or disrespecting our parents and teachers – trace it back to its root, and we’ll most likely find that it is related to being ungrateful. Ungrateful for our God; ungrateful for what God has done in us, and ungrateful for what God has given to us. All these are by no means small sins, and they all deserve God’s wrath.  

Overcoming daily life’s struggle – choosing gratitude over complaint 

Have you encountered real daily struggles choosing gratitude over complaint? 

Do you find it easier to complain than to give thanks? 

Do you easily get irritated when things don’t go your way?

According to pastor and author, Paul David Tripp, the decision to complain or to give thanks are both rooted in the way we view ourselves. “Complaint”, he said, “is an identity issue –  a severe case of misplaced identity.”

He wrote, “If we place ourselves in the centre of our world and reduce our concerns down to what we want and feel, we will operate with an entitled and demanding attitude.” 

This entitled attitude will spur us to complain when things are not as we want. 

Tripp added, “The universe wasn’t created – nor does it operate – to satisfy our desires. We regularly don’t or can’t get what we want.”

There, he hits the bull’s- eye, and bluntly tells us the reality that we are not the centre of the universe; the world doesn’t and will never revolve around us! Thinking so will only make us a complaining person. 

As we are sinners, we are supposed to receive God’s wrath, yet we are saved. All that we receive are undeserved blessings that God has graciously given to us, even though we are not worthy. When we recognise that we are debtors to God, and that God is not obliged to give us anything, we will be humbled, and learn to be grateful instead of complaining. 

Furthermore, the small insignificant inconveniences that we complain about in our everyday lives should be taken as practise and training for the bigger struggles that will occur later in life. As Christians, we should all expect to receive more infliction, than those of the world. Since our teen years, we should practise being grateful instead of complaining about small inconveniences, rather recognising God’s plan behind them so that we can be prepared to face bigger struggles. 

We can all learn from the God-centered mentality of apostle Paul, who could still praise God even though he was arrested and imprisoned. Looking past all of his own circumstances and hardships, instead, he focused towards God’s good plan. If we change our self-centered lives to become God-centered, we can avoid becoming slaves to our circumstances and rather, become grateful for God’s providence in our lives – trusting in God’s plan behind all of our life circumstances, no matter how different they may be to our own desires. 

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:18

If you’re a student living in NSW, you would have done at least 2 Rapid Antigen Tests by now, supposing you’ve been following the local government’s recommendation for school goers to swab themselves twice weekly. 

Since our society is required to live with Covid, self-testing with RAT kits has become and will continue to be an additional new normal to the future. In the beginning, thousands of people joined the RAT race due to the lack of stocks. Despite the exorbitant price tag, many were still willing to purchase it, in anticipation of the symptoms appearing on them, therefore needing to get tested, isolate, and take some medication or vitamins to recover. 

Whilst it is significant to check our physical health during this pandemic, there is one most important thing that we often neglect to check- that is ‘our spiritual health.’ 

Have we checked our spiritual health recently? How do we check it? How can we make it healthier? 

As we willingly swab our noses twice a week for the benefit of our physical health, we also need to regularly check our spiritual health with the same urgency and willingness, for it will cost us our eternity. 

Acknowledge Our Disease

Indwelling SIN is the universal disease found in each and every one of us that is responsible for our spiritual deformity. It is so common that none of us is spared from it. To make it clear: ALL OF US has this disease. However, many refuse to acknowledge this truth or, rather, do not realise that they have the disease. Thus they live with it instead of trying hard to fight it. 

This situation is especially true for us who call ourselves Christians. We often think that we are better than the people out there. In reality, we are just as corrupted.  

We might say, ‘I go to church regularly, I listen to the weekly sermon attentively, I even take notes during the sermon and never skip my teen connect group discussions.’ By doing all these things, can we say that we have a clean bill of spiritual health? What was inside our heart and mind when doing all those things? What prompted us, and what motivation did we have for doing those things? 

We already know our sly enemy is always on the work to deceive us with its crafty tricks, making us think otherwise. Be very wary of the subtle sins we have. Humble ourselves and ask God to open up our spiritual eyes so that we can clearly see all of our sins as how our holy God sees it. Only then can we see the depth of damage it has caused us. 

Examine Our Spiritual Health

The Word of God is the only reference needed to examine our spiritual health. It is the highest standard, with 100% precision, that can tell us the severity of our spiritual conditions. The Bible is like a clear mirror that will show us where the disease of sin is lurking. 

Here I would like to suggest three guiding questions to kick off our self-examination. 

1. Do we love our God more & hate our sin more each day?

God has given us the greatest and first commandment in Matthew 22:37. 

“You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” 

When we say we love our God, we should do it with everything we are. He should be on the throne in our heart, be in charge of our soul and occupy our minds. Everything must align together. We can’t claim to love God by stuffing our souls and minds with worldly things. We can’t compartmentalize ourselves for God and for the world. With that, we should have denied our fleshly desires and hated our sins more.  

2. Do we strive to live a holy life?

The Bible has told us to make every effort to be holy as without holiness, we will not see the Lord (Hebrew 12:14). 

Many of us Christians may seem to be living a holy life… on the surface. We’re going to church and doing all the right things, and we might even receive some compliments for being ‘good teens’ compared to many others out there. However, many of us may not be striving to actualize and cultivate the gospel we learn into our daily lives and live a holy life.

Despite all the misconceptions about holiness within our generation, the greatest joy that we can ever find in this world is through obeying and following the laws of God; and living in holiness with Him. Once we accept Christ, the Holy Spirit works in our hearts to regenerate and sanctify us, and holiness is a fruit that comes naturally after. 

Living a holy life does not mean we never sin or that we can 100% follow God’s law without fail, but it is learning to love what God loves (hate what God hates) and doing his laws with a joyful heart. 

3. Do we bear fruits of the Spirit?

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control,” (Galatians 5:22-23b ESV)

Another way to examine our spiritual health is by observing the fruits we produce in our lives; particularly the fruits of the Spirit. Essentially, when we develop a deeper personal relationship with God, we go through the process of sanctification, and our lives are changed to be more Christlike. These fruits of the Spirit will emerge in our lives as our character and outlook change. 

• Love – do we love others as God calls us to?
• Joy – do we feel joy when we follow God and do his commandments?
• Peace –  do we feel true peace in Christ?
• Forbearance (i.e. patience) – Do we exercise patience when meeting hard people or circumstances? 
• Kindness and goodness- Do we show kindness to others?
• Faithfulness – Do we faithfully follow God in any life circumstances?
• Gentleness – Do we display the ‘spirit of gentleness’ (Galatians 6:1) and humility?
• Self-control – Are we able to say ‘no’ to our fleshly desires?

Take Action For a Life-Long Recovery 

So what was your diagnosis? Was it a good one?

Mine is a far cry from ‘good’, and I assume many of you share my result.

When we are placed under the microscope of the Bible and illuminated by the bright light of God’s holiness, no one can escape. However, the Bible is not given to condemn us for falling short. It is there to show us the truth and guide us to come closer to our heavenly Father. 

During our time on this earth, we need to go through a life-long process of progressive sanctification every single day. It can often be so painful, but this process is necessary for our recovery. 

When we have an intimate personal relationship with God, we will grow in our love of the Lord, and we will learn how to mortify our sins and reject our worldly desires. It is only through a union with Christ, that we will be sanctified and transformed into a new creation. He will enable us to love holiness more and to walk in the path of obedience. All these things can only be obtained by praying and meditating on God’s Word daily. 

“How can a young man keep his way pure? By guarding it according to your word.” 
Psalm 119:9

Next, to commit ourselves into the recovery process of spiritual health, we can start doing these things:

1. Constantly praying and studying God’s Word.

This is the most important; the first step that we cannot skip.

2. Fellowship

Initiating fellowship, and having a group of teenagers that we can have fellowship with will help to strengthen our spiritual health, and also give us a support system. True fellowship happens on the basis of a spiritual relation, and being one in Christ. In fellowship, we can share our lives and our struggles with others, and we can hold one another accountable. We can look out for one another, lovingly point out one anothers’ ‘symptoms’, and especially support and pray for those spiritually weak. 

3. Ministry

Serving within the church allows us to humble ourselves to serve God, and to evangelize God’s truth to others out there who are yet to hear it. Within ministry, we may also have fellowship with our fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, and we can learn how to expand our talents to be used for God’s glory. Our faith is strengthened through the hardships and trials we face, and we learn to reject worldly pleasures and walk in obedience. 

So as we enter this school year, I encourage us all to not only keep checking our physical health but, most importantly, to check on our spiritual health against God’s Word more regularly. May we all experience spiritual growth and start (or continue) on the life-long journey of spiritual recovery. 

Nearing the end of the year, I look back at the past year and give thanks. I give thanks for the health God has still blessed me with, the opportunities He has given me, and the things He has taught me. But above all, I give thanks for the people He has put into my life this year that have helped me grow into who I am now. 

Friends — they’re the people we socialise with the most. Averaging about 30 hours per week, interacting with our friends is a major part of our teenage life. Whether we have many friends, or maybe just a few close friends—we always long for true friendship. After the first man, Adam was created, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18) Yes, we are created as ‘social beings’. Therefore relationships are very important to us. 

The importance of friendship 

I am sure we all now understand how important our relationships with friends are. The pandemic situation this year forced us to go into yet another lockdown that lasted the whole school term. It constrained us to mingle with our friends and made us distant. I became more aware of how our friends and our interactions with them can have a big influence on us. 

We all know our friends can influence our desires, interests and hobbies and even some of our thoughts. Most of us have also heard of ‘peer pressure’ or FOMO within our friendship circle that may lead us to do things that we wouldn’t normally do. But during lockdown, I truly realised that friendships could affect our motivation, mood and even change our entire worldview and outlook on life. For instance, many of my classmates found that we were losing motivation to study during lockdown because they did not get as much interaction with their friends or peers as they would in a normal classroom setting. Many also became sadder, anxious and pessimistic amidst the dreary lockdown without the daily interactions with their friends. They turned to playing video games, binge-watching Netflix and scrolling through Tik Tok, but all these efforts did not make things any better. 

This led me to wonder: if our friendships can have such a big influence on our lives, then why do so many people in our generation choose and treat friendship carelessly? 

Our friendships (and any of our relationships with other people) are very important. They will shape our lives, thus we should be careful and pay more attention about who we choose to befriend. 

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”
Proverbs 13:20 

The breakdown of our social circles 

By no means am I saying we should only befriend a certain type of person, and I definitely do not imply that we should only be friends with Christians who have the same beliefs as us. However, we should be aware of the breakdown of our social circles and exactly where each one of our friends stands. 

Simply said, our social circles can be further broken down into several tiers. This may include our acquaintances, our casual friends, and our close friends. You may be just like me, ‘knowing’ many people in your grade just by their names and faces but have never talked to them. You may wave to others when you pass by on your way to class. However, when it comes to your inner circle of close friends, they are the people whom you sit with at recess and lunch breaks. You know them, and they know you quite well too. You feel comfortable sharing your life with them and confide in them about your problems.

Now let me tell you this: Not everyone can be let easily into that inner circle of yours.

This special circle is only meant for the people you carefully choose as your closest (prayerfully true) friends; they are the ones who will have the biggest impact on your life. As much as we would like to have many close friends, we need to understand that these friends will not only have the ability to influence your interests, thoughts or life direction—but can also lead us closer to or further away from God. So choose wisely. 

Signs of a true friend 

1. True friends love us and point us to Christ

True friends show Christ-likeness in their lives. None of our earthly friends can ever compare to Christ, the ultimate true Friend who was willing to sacrifice Himself on the cross for us. However, God still calls us all to be true friends by loving one another, just as how Christ loved us. True friends are selfless and put their friends’ before themselves. They also evangelise God’s truth to us so that we can experience the delight of the Lord together. In a true friendship, we should feel ourselves drawing closer to God day by day and growing in the knowledge of Him alongside our friend.  

“ My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”  
John 15:12-13

2. True friends pray for us and encourage us 

True friends will pray for us and encourage us amidst our struggles in life. They will support us and will direct us to depend on God through all our hardships. The encouragement from true friends will help motivate us to obey God, even when it is hard to do so. Our true friends are the people who will lend a listening ear when we want to share and will also help carry our burdens by praying for us. 

“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.”  
1 Thessalonians 5:11 

3. True friends hold us accountable 

True friends are people who we can trust, people who will not judge or reject us and will honestly but lovingly point out our sins. As Christians, we should have our circle of brothers and sisters in Christ that we can count on to hold us accountable. This may be our connect group friends, or friends who serve in ministry together. As children of God, they too will understand how it feels like to be the minority in our society today. These true friends help to support us as we fall into sin and suffering and offer us Godly counsel amidst the worldly things we face each day. 

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labour: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.” 
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

These are some of the signs of true friends that we should look out for in our inner circle. Pray that we can find true friends and also become one ourselves to show Christ’s love to others around us. 

More than friendship 

And now we move on to the elephant in the room, a ‘more than friendship’ relationship. Yep, you guessed it—I’m talking about dating. 

Out of the other relationships that we have been exploring and reflecting on in the past couple of weeks, this is the only one I have not experienced (and I’m sure it is the case for many of you too). But certainly, we’ve all seen our fair share of romantic relationships from all the Hollywood romcoms and the k-dramas that we watched. Many of us may also know that some of our friends are starting to dabble into romantic relationships. It is also possible for some of you to wish for such a relationship yourselves. 

However, before we jump onto the bandwagon and dive into romantic relationships, we need to know of the danger attached to it, especially in today’s culture. Society today takes dating lightly and many people date with no intention of marriage. The media today has twisted what God had intended for dating and marriage to be and has falsely made young people build up their own expectations and ideals for what it should be. 

Now let me burst your bubble. Romantic relationships are more than just romance. Dating and marriage should be in God’s time and should be according to what God intends it to be, that is, to display the amazing redemptive story of Christ and His bride—the church. Therefore, it should be done in loftiness of respect and responsibility to God. 

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” 
Genesis 2:24

In God’s time, if at all, we will be called to get married and start our own families. We need to remember that God should always be the centre in all. For all the things that we do in life, we should seek to please and glorify God—and this is no different in the context of romantic relationships. 

Rather than searching for ‘the one’ in this time of our lives, we should wait for God’s perfect timing and arrangement. We should ask in prayer for our future significant other to be someone who fears and loves God and will accompany us in our work for Him in our lives. 

As we reflect on the roller coaster ride that 2021 has been, I would like to pose a few questions to examine ourselves:

• Have our relationships with others been godly just like the way that God intends them to be? 
• Have we become a true friend to others around us so that they may see Christ’s love through us? 

Venturing into a new year, I hope that we may reflect on all our relationships that God has blessed us with this year. First and foremost is our relationship with God. Then our relationship with our family. Lastly is our relationship with our friends. May our relationships be used as instruments to glorify God even more in the coming year. 

What comes to mind when you hear the word ‘teenager’? How do you describe yourself as a teen?

I recently did a Google search for words that described teenagers. Apart from a few positive words, the most common ones I found were ‘lazy’, ‘rebellious’, ‘ignorant’, ’immature’ and ‘self-centred’. These are some negative stereotypes faced by us teens nowadays.

According to worldly standards, our typical Generation-Z teenager likes to be idle, has an indifferent attitude towards most things in life, can’t live without checking a device every few minutes, and is infamous for their mood swings and rebellious nature towards their parents. Unfortunately, I have to admit these descriptions have some truth for many of us.

On the other hand, I’m convinced that you will strongly agree with me that teenagers do possess more positive qualities than those given labels. However, the real problem is that we start to believe and normalise their undervalued claims and think it is okay to live ‘down’ according to those low expectations placed on us. 

Over the recent school holidays, I participated in a book club activity organised by the teens in my church. The book I read was Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris. Just as the name suggests, this book is all about how teenagers should rebel against society’s low expectations, step outside of their comfort zones, go beyond what is expected, and start doing hard things worth doing for the glory of God. 

The Average Teen 

The book introduced me to many young people who had gone on to do extraordinary things in their teen years to make significant contributions to society. There’s no surprise that the book’s authors, Alex and Brett, also have plenty of extraordinary experiences in their teen years including writing their first book at the age of eighteen! Do Hard Things became a best-selling book that has been translated into a dozen languages and has empowered so many (young, and not so young) people to start doing hard things in their lives. 

Reading about all of these extraordinary teens was the most inspirational part of the book for me. But at the same time, it also made me feel uncomfortable. 

When I reflected on myself, the first reaction I had was to feel overwhelmed. Here, I am an average 14-year-old girl living a plain and ordinary teen life, and I have definitely not done anything extraordinary like all those young people mentioned in the book. 

Sure, I’m sitting in front of my laptop and writing this article right now instead of idling around, but we are talking on a whole lot of different levels here. We’re talking about serving as grass-roots directors for statewide Supreme Court campaigns and writing a best-selling book. I started to wonder if I was missing something along the way and had wasted some of my precious teen years.

Unintentionally, I started to reason with myself.

Well… you see… I just turned 14 not so long ago. That means I can still be considered a newbie teenager right? Besides I am fully aware that God has created each of us unique with sets of different talents, and we should be content without comparing ourselves with others. I think I’m already doing good enough. Those young people they’re talking about in the book are outliers, they are way above my league — I am just average after all. It’s best if I just stick to doing what I know best to carry out my responsibilities as a student. 

Once again, I am convinced that I just represent the inner voices of so many of you, fellow ‘ordinary’ teens. While we are in full agreement on this (I take liberty to assume), unfortunately these kinds of reasoning are the exact excuses that the book states would hinder us from doing what we could actually do — to be specific, from what God actually made us to do. 

Overcoming Common Roadblocks 

For those who know me personally, I am conscientious, a perfectionist and a high achiever. Furthermore, I often ‘overthink’ things. Previously, I thought that my unhealthy habit of  ‘overthinking’ was just a result of my personality. But I learnt that there are actually two main reasons why these thoughts came to my mind (yours too) and possibly held me back to reach my full potential.

1. Fear

If you’re anything like me, fear is probably the most common reason that stops you from doing great things. Fear of failure is a big thing for me, and I know for sure that this is also the case for many of my friends and the majority of people. I mean, who likes failing, right? Whether it be participating in a competition, trying a team sport, taking a maths exam, or taking up ministry at church needs a great deal of effort and … there’s always a chance of failure in doing it.

As teenagers, we tend to worry a lot about failure and about how others’ opinions of us will change after we experience it. We have a reputation to maintain, don’t we?  Thus we tend to choose to ‘play it safe’ within our comfort zone. The old me would be so reluctant (and would avoid if possible) to sign myself up for something that I couldn’t do well or be the best at it.  

We always think that by not starting in the first place, we won’t have the chance to experience failure. Unfortunately, we will realise sooner or later that we’ve missed the opportunity to do many amazing things and have wasted days, weeks, months or even years doing nothing significant. 

I started to be one of the writers for RegenerationZ in January this year. That time, my teens youth group leader casually asked me to write a reflection on what I learnt from the teens retreat we had a few days before that. Never in a million years would I imagine myself doing this if not for the opportunity offered to me at that time, simply because it was outside of my comfort zone.

Throughout the year, I was given more responsibilities to take on. Often these thoughts came haunting me.  

‘Are you sure you can do it all? There’s no way you will be able to finish all your work and assessments from school if you spend more and more time doing ministry! Sooner or later, you will be drowning in all the work and fail in both school and ministry!’ 

There I would be lying if I say I’m not scared if that really happens. But, I can attest that God is sustaining me and enabling me to do them alright so far. 

I am also learning to look at failure from a different perspective now. Failure brings so many lessons that we would not have learnt in times of success. Obviously, no one would purposely fail just for its life lessons, but God will be at work in times of failure to make us less prideful of our limited self and ability and to learn to be solely reliant on Him. 

Looking back now, I am glad that I did not let my fear of failure overtake the situation. I am glad that I was able to take those scary first steps, and now I am embracing all of the new responsibilities and challenges that are given to me.

2. Complacency

By definition, complacency is ‘a feeling of smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself or one’s achievements.’ In simple terms, complacency is closely related to the feeling of pride, as well as the thought that we are already ‘good enough’. These thoughts and feelings are also significantly fueled by the low expectations of society. We often receive praise from others just for completing a task that was already our responsibility. Over time, these compliments and praises pacify us for not wanting to do more. We feel too comfortable to stay in our current position, and wouldn’t want to risk aiming to achieve bigger and harder things. Soon we fall short of our true potential because we aim only to be bigger than the next fish in our small pond. 

I realised that too often, I fall into the trap of having this mindset. On some occasions, I would soak in all the compliments and awards I received and use them as proof of my ability. Other times, I would use it as an excuse to justify that I was already doing better than others thus, I had the right to chill out. 

I believe my parents saw this trend in me when I was still in my previous school. So, we agreed for me to move to another school that would challenge me more academically. I remember they were saying that it is better for me to be a small fish in a big pond rather than a big fish in a small pond as it will challenge me to reach my full God-given potential. I learnt that we should measure our lives by excellence, rather than excuses. This is the only way in which we can grow and improve ourselves, and to cultivate the talents that God has given us for His glory. 

I Dare You 

A few months back, my 5-year-old sister was practising a piece on the piano. It was a song titled “Not So Hard” in her stage three piano book. After a few tries, she innocently commented, ‘Why is the title ‘Not So Hard’ when it is actually hard to play?’ My mum laughed at her and told her that it wouldn’t be so hard if she kept practicing.

Isn’t it true for almost everything else? The concept is the same —It will be hard when we first start doing it, but with practice it will become easier. This goes for simple tasks such as learning to sit, to walk, to eat and on to a bigger task such as waking up earlier to do your morning devotions, obeying your parents, and joining your church ministry. 

In the end, I would like to leave you with these two fundamental questions worth pondering (Do Hard Things pg 56) :

First, are we spending our time right now to prepare us for what we hope to become in the future?

Second, are we doing things now that will equip us for the greater things God may have for us to do? 

I would like to challenge you, fellow teens, to change your mindset and take that first step outside your comfort zone to do more hard things worth doing for God’s glory despite your fear or complacency. Draw your confidence in God to equip you to do what He wants you to do.  Remember this: ‘We are created to do hard things and we can do hard things.’ That small step will change the entire direction of your life.

“It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.” –Lamentations 3:27 (NIV)